Call of Duty Pandora Warfare: Now with extra BO!
by ismokecrackama
Summary: Avatar and CoD met and had a baby. That baby is this. And it is very very very random. Hope you guys all like it in it's spell checked and special extended edition! rEVIEWS MAEKS MEEZ HAPPIEZ!


**HEY GUYS**

**What is up? Nothing much? Well, I know it's a bit late, but I'm gonna be celebrating Black Ops with an update. As you can see, the grammar has been fixed somewhat by this very sexy spellcheck I finally have (PS: spellcheck is apparently wrong to spellcheck O_O). So without further ado, let's go poop on them kids :D.**

**Btw for the sake of heritage, I've kept the original bold text.**

**Hello there. I'm thecrimsontag.**

**This is a really random oneshot. I think it's pretty funny though. Enjoy! BTW you kinda need to have played call of duty online to get some of the jokes so... yeah. Any offensive terms used in this fic I do not actually mean in real life, however they are terms which people use a lot on call of duty, so it's there for that reason. Again, please do not be offended.**

**I do not own Avatar or the extremely unbalanced yet fun mw2 multiplayer. **

**Review as well. :D:D:D:D:D:D**

"What the fuck? Why is everything grey?" said one of the RDA mercs.

"I can't move!" said another.

"What the hell is a FAMAS grenade launcher?"

"Oh my god you NOOBS."

A voice came out of nowhere.

"Team deathmatch." it said "Eliminate the opposing players."

Everyone suddenly started moving, and the colour returned.

An throwing knife came out of nowhere and hit one of them. He fell over dead.

Then another person exactly like him appeared behind him.

"WHAT AN ASSHOLE. OH MY GOD. FUCKING NOOB SPAWNKILL" He screamed in a high pitched voice. "WOW KID SERIOUSLY GET SOME SKILLS YOU BK!"

"Kid, hit puberty seriously." said someone in a ghillie suit sniping. He had the name RDA1 floating in green above his head. Suddenly an image appeared in the bottom right hand corner of everyone's vision. it said RDA1, then a picture of a sniper rifle, then another name four times. In the upper right hand corner appeared a sign saying "RDA1: multikill."

About 10 high pitched distorted voices began going "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!"

( On the other side of the map... er... battlefield)

"Wow what a hardscope." one of the Na'vi complained.

"Probably has an aimbot like seriously."

"Why are we all using human guns? What does 'bling' do."

" Wow you suck. It let's you have two weapons attachments. Only noobs use it." Said another as he fired an underslung grenade launcher attachment, aka:: the noob toob.

One of the Na'vi was running really fast across the battlefield. Where he saw the RDA randomly appearing. "Ha ha ha. I found their spawn." he said with a grin, leveling his Ump.45 silenced at the appearing RDA.

Suddenly, 4 RDA soldiers wielding riot shields burst from the bushes. They circled around the Na'vi, menacingly waiving at him from behind their wall of terror (seriously, riotshielders actually have if they stay still long enough :D).

"NOOOOO!"he yelled, preparing to die. But they didn't kill him. They just stayed around him, pointing their riot shields at him and repeatedly crouching, then standing up, the crouching, then standing up. He tried to push through them. One would think that because he was 10 feet tall, he would easily be able to push past a 6 foot marine.

But no. The Shields held fast.

He tried to shoot them, but the bullets just bounced of the wall of doom death and/or destruction.

"Wow." he said, resorting to jumping up and down. "HELP! HELP!"

After about a minute, he just stopped, said "Wow this is gaaaaay. I'm backing out." and he suddenly disappeared.

"Wow what a noob, he could've just thrown a Semtex." said a teammate of the unfortunate Ump-marathon-lightweight Na'vi.

(shift to RDA side)

All of the Riotshielders where laughing their asses off.

The world slowed into slow motion.

"What the fuck is with this lag." said one.

Then they looked up, to see something flying towards them.

O fortuna began playing in the background.

"Is it a bird?" a second riotshielder whispered.

"Is it a plane?" breathed another.

"NO!" The last one screamed! "IT'S A NOOB TOOB! RUNNNNNN!"

The noob toob hit, killing all four.

The multikill sign went up again. This time saying Na'vi 1.

"Wow, what a fag." one of the riotshielders with a snobby 10 year old voice said.

Suddenly they heard beeping.

"Tactical Nuke, Incoming! It's Over!"

" NOOOOOOO!"

All of the RDA marines began running around in circles, shooting up in the air.

Suddenly everything stopped.

All of the players had no weapons, and they where all in a grey room. A sign floating down said "Server disconnected."

The Na'vi who got the nuke just screamed "!"

The RDA mercs burst out laughing.

"Wait I'm going to make me a sandwich. I'll be AFK for a couple secs." said one through peals of laughter.

"OK, see ya in a bit."

Suddenly, the background music changed. The tint of the room changed from grey, to teal.

"Wait what?" exclaimed one of the Na'vi.

And then the screen plunged into... well... what looked suspiciously like a loading screen.

Waiting for all players...

Waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting...

"Team Deathmatch. Show no mercy" came the accented announcer's voice.

"Hey, they have a noob toob!" exclaimed the Na'vi warrior.

"Hey, they got a bolt action sniper rifle!" exclaimed the RDA marine.

The battle began. Someone was apparently keeping score.

The Na'vi warrior with the noob toobs was crouched in the corner of the map. His eyes looked over the horizon. Sweat dripped from his brow.

Suddenly, he saw movement. An enemy. About 10 meters out. He raised his noob toob, and fired.

All that happened is an x speared on his screen, along with a weird sound. The noob toob, bane of all CoD, just got a hitmarker.

"What the fu-" The Na'vi warrior could not finish his sentence. The RDA soldier turned around and lunged across those 10 meters to stab the 10 foot tall being with a 10 inch knife.

The Na'vi warrior died instantaneously.

"I love Black Ops!" exclaimed the RDA merc.

Suddenly, he heard a noise. A buzz at first, then louder.

"Enemy RC-XD in your area."

"Wait, what?"

He saw what seemed to be a little RC car.

The merc walked over to it.

"Aww, a toy car." he said with a smile, remembering his boyhood days...

Then it exploded. The marine was killed.

He respawned on the other side of the map with a look of utter surprise on his face. Recovering, he calmly walked over to the corner, lay down, a curled up into the fetal position.

"But it- so small- 3 killstreak- 2 with hardline- toy car..." he sobbed in between sucks on his thumb.

Another merc passed the unfortunate victim of RC-XD. He was carrying an L96 bolt action sniper rifle.

The score was 7400-7400. He knew what to do. He climbed up to a ledge.

"THREE " he yelled as he jumped off of the ridge, spinning as he did. He lined up the enemy perfectly in his noscope crosshairs. He zoomed in...

"What the hell?" he exclaimed as his scope zoomed in about a kilometre away from his target, making him miss his shot. In frustration, he tried an across the map noscope.

Hitmarker.

The enemy shot him with the Famas.

All the lobby heard was the RDA soldier's final words.

"WHAT THE !"

"I'm back, what did I miss?" said the guy who went to make a sandwich.

The End. Hope you guys liked it. I did this one to poke fun at CoD, cause I play it a fair amount and I thought some other people might find a parody of it funny. Not in crossovers cause it has really nothing to do with CoD Mw2 or Black Ops' plot (Black Ops had a pretty good one, actually).

Keep rocking, and look out for any more updates I may post.


End file.
